Dr Seuss Bathroom Set - We all have \\ \"story \\\" us to tell about our lives growing up. Some have a fun childhood loving where they have a mother who stayed at home, who have home baked cookies ready for them as soon as they walk in the school, clean clothes ready for the next day, and dinner simmering on the stove. Dad got home, everyone sitting at the table and enjoy the delicious food that the mother had prepared, and then at dinner dishes were cleared, children can tell their father about their day. Some have parents who encourage them, help them with their homework after dinner, and enjoy spending time with their children before the next day begins. You know, one of those \\ \"Leave It To Beaver \\\" type family. Then there are people who are minus one parent for one reason or another ... usually divorce or death. Or how the people who live with alcohol or drug addiction of parents do not really \\ \"parent \\\" at all. their children are basically on their own, improve themselves, defend themselves, and make the most of a bad situation.
I do not know why I share this now. I just felt led to leave someone out there know that you are not alone! That you can live a normal life. I have been persecuted by 4 different people between the ages of 8 - 14. But, Lord GOD alone, take me through it all. I have been redeemed and washed clean by the blood of the Lord. I no longer have to live a life of persecution I took over more of me again.
I was one of the children who had my own \\ \"unique \\\" state while growing up. My parents divorced when I was 7, although my father moved when I was 5 ½. I was the oldest of the three of us. We moved to a small town to live closer to my grandparents, my mother's parents. We moved from the big metropolis of Denver, CO, to the small town of Julesburg, CO. At first, when I was young, I have made lifelong friends I was with a girl who lived across the street from the home of my grandparents. It was the summer before the school year our 2nd class. During this time, our lives seem a bit \\ \"normal \\\" baby play, or pretend to be a teacher at the school, or build an ant farm ...
But in my life, many things happened that made me who I am today. I can not begin to tell you what my life was like and do it justice! There are so many stories I could tell you! For one, we moved and stayed in 27 different places from the time I turned 7 - 18. I went to 11 schools in 12 years. I think that with our move so often, I take with me the idea that \\ \"I better make friends fast, because quite confident we'll move on and I have to go. \\\" I believe my brother took the theory that \\ \"why bother -repot made friends because we were going to move anyway. \\ \"and my brother, well, being a boy, keep the friend was not a big problem, and he made friends quite easily, but it was not as big a problem for him as it was us girls.
When I was 8, my mother began dating a Japanese farmer in our area, it quickly became involved, with the last name Kinoshita. As you can imagine, three of our kids made enough fun of the name at that time deliberately say, Kin-O-Shit-A. I mean, do not we? Well this is the first time that I consider myself sexually harassed. After dinner, my mother would go to the kitchen to wash the dishes in his house, and the three of us children and his girlfriend will lie on the floor to watch TV. Well fiance 'will use this time to \\ \"rub my belly. \\\" Now I was 8, so it needs fat I wiped after dinner seemed really strange to me, but I thought, okay, I guess is this normal? It makes me uncomfortable, but she said she was just trying to be nice. Okay, so be it ... I guess ?? But then they rub your stomach, turned into \\ \"wandering fingers, \\\" and go up a little higher and a little higher. Immediately rub my stomach into the chest rub. Now mind you, I just started to develop, but it still has enough that it made me very uncomfortable! My mother has said that she really wanted this wedding because he is financially, and every night this goes on, I tried to keep myself busy with work so we do not need to lie on the floor and watch TV, but one way or another, he persuaded me to it and my mother had told us several times that he does not want this relationship messed up by our children. So, I kept silent, until one day, on the way home from school, I leave everything to my friends. He went home and talked to his mother. I do not know what they were talking about, because their parents only speak Spanish, so I do not think much. However, her mother, having heard what was happening, assured me that they were there for me, and that this is something I have to talk to my mother about immediately. So with my friend and her mother both sitting there, I called my mother and told her what had happened. I do not know how many actually say the mother to her new fiance ', but I know that she broke up with him. However, the mother of my friend suggested that she turned to the police, but my mother said that it was pointless to call the police because \\ \"he was so rich that he could have the city, so that no one will believe you anyway. It will be its word to you , \\ \"he said. So, life goes like \\ \"normal, \\\" Okay, normal as normal can be.
Then my mother found a young man who could come in the morning and stay with us, when he went to work at 6:00 am at the truck stop, and he went down at 6:00 am from working all night shift at there, and will be coming to stay with the three of us children for the day, as we \\ 'nanny. \\ \"Oh he pleases, to make us breakfast, took us to a school or playground in the playground, and chased us around the house playing tickle monster. However, when she first visited the house every morning, instead of going up to an empty bed she slept for a while, he would climb into bed with me. Why? Well there are people \\ \"wandering fingers \\\" again. Except this time, this finger hanging around, and then go down. My 9, and he was 21. What I have in ages so interesting anyway?! I have not even started physically developed yet for the sake !!! However, this lasted for weeks. I told my mother, but she she thinks that because I went through this with her ex-fiance ', then \\ \"it must me something I do to encourage these people. \\\" So, although he stopped watching us, I remember wished him dead. I do. I could not help myself. I just want him to die so that he could never do anything like this again! A few months later, when he worked for the power company, and colleagues decided to start drinking beer on their lunch break. Now Curtis has climbed the pole to work on a particular wire that cause them hardship, and electric shock. He fell from the pole, and his colleague, who had been drinking, was not functional enough to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I know it's all I do! I prayed and asked for him to die, and he's got. You see, it's all my fault ... I'm hoping and praying for it. I just knew it was my fault. I held guilty for many years afterwards. Someone was dead and it was all my fault.
Then, we had a family friend, who we had become friends with him and his wife for many years. In fact, most of the times, we like to go to their homes. She was like a mother adopted for our children, and we can convince him to come play a game with us, reading stories, etc. You should have heard him reading one of the books of Dr. Seuss retreat! It was a riot! And it is a tongue twister to read it from front to back, let alone read it back to front! And we used to love cheat him in to ask for a Big Mac at Burger King! So, needless to say, we would go to their house quite often. Usually though, I had a huge bed with his wife because we always went to bed earlier than him, and he slept on the couch when we stayed, or in the bedroom. His wife will occasionally send me to wake him when it is time for us all to wake up every morning. That's when famous people \\ \"wandering fingers \\\" will begin to wander again. I was between 10-12 during most of this time. But, without telling my mother, (remember how he had decided the last time that I should be an interesting person this \\ \"male \\\") right, it must be something about me, and once again, I am guilty.
Well, from time to time, we have to move again as we have done several other times before, and so we do not see them as often as we had before. It was in the early years of our 8th grade, so I was in one school there in Jr. High, and suddenly we left and headed to IA CO good ole '. My mother had to break up with a guy she's dating trucker, a real crazy guy who used to arrange candles in a circle in our basement, and summon the spirit of the Mojave Dessert. So, we packed up as soon as we got home from school that day, taking just a few of our possessions are very important (and I mean very few), and our cat, and loaded up a bit of a U-haul trailer is small, and we headed out with no particular place in mind. My mother advised IA, so we headed west. We ended up in Council Bluffs and out of money. So, this is where we decided to stay.
Of course, we would have switched schools again, for the umpteenth time, and we begin yet another school in Council Bluffs, while we were staying in a cabin one room with two double beds, one bathroom, a crock pot for cooking in and three cats. We started the school, but is \\ \"poor children \\\" and did not fit properly. But, once again, we moved. This time it is a good thing. I started in Grade 9, but in a completely different school. This school is so much better, much more acceptable, much less judgmental and critical, and we were not treated as a \\ \"low class trash \\\" here.
I ended up 14 today. last year before I had to start high school. I'm so excited! I finally grew, started wearing makeup, fixing my hair, and think about the \\ \"B \\\" big word ... BOYS !!! We stayed in a house quite near the school, so it was within walking distance. My mother once again work in one truck stop nearby. But money is tight, so my mom brought home a truck driver to stay with us to help pay the bills. Well this guy is 28. My mother worked all night shift at a truck stop, and Terry will be home most nights, and on the walk for days to most. Well Terry took quite liked me immediately. Now mind you, I had just turned 14. My sister and I slept in the same room, my brother had one left us, and across the hall space Sue (girls / women in their early 20s from Indiana), someone who Terry has found hitch hiking one day trip out-of-town, and was brought to our house to stay with us as well. So, one more person to help pay the bills. But, to get to the bathroom, we had to walk through a small hallway, and we had to go through the room Sue to get there. Then to the left is the bathroom, and then to the right is the bedroom Terry. my mother's room on the main floor. In between the bathroom and bedroom Terry was a second door. The door was locked from Terry side of the room, but not from her bedroom to the bathroom. Now in the evening, after Terry think we are all children sleep in the bed, he would come into my room, and again, night after night, their famous \\ \"wandering fingers \\\" yet another guy, will start their journey , He will come, with condoms, ready whatever I guess he had hope for. He would ask me to wear something \\ \"section. \\\" I do not have anything \\ \"sexy \\\" because my 14-year-old, and a \\ \"sexy \\\" it's not something I'm thinking about at the time in my life. Heck, just get my makeup to look good in the morning, and curling my hair before school was as a \\ \"sexy \\\" as it could be. His fingers explore places that I did not know existed. I used to pray, \\ \"Please God, let him think that I actually fell asleep and went tonight. \\\" Or I'll pray, \\ \"Please God, let my sister get up so he would make enough noise or something that he went and leave me alone. \\ \"He never got to the stage where we really forced to fully mature sex on me, but night after night, we went through this ritual. Night after night he would go back to his room, and I would be disgusted cry myself to sleep. Night after night I hope my brother will please just WAKE, just this once. But, he seemed never, or so I thought, until years later when I found out that she said that she was afraid to let us know that he was awake, because he was afraid he would come to the next. I can not blame him for that. I wish I could pretend so he would leave me alone too, but it did not happen.
Well one day Sue had asked me to go for a walk with him to talk. So, I did. He starts to say that Terry would come to his room almost every night and doing \\ \"things \\\" to him, asking him to \\ \"put something \\\" sexy \\ \"and \\\" wandering fingers \\ \"will begin roaming with him as well. When that it all out ... I spilled what he has done for me as well. I begged and pleaded to not tell my mother because my mother would say, yet again, that \\ \"it must be something I do to attract those people like this. \\ \"My mistake again. Well Sue, knowing how young I finally told my mother after all. So, my mother went and confronted Terry, he said that he did it for me because \\\" he loves me soooooo much that he could not resist the urge to make love to me. \\ \"Well my mother told him to pack up and get out of our house, we went to the house of a friend of my mother for a few days while he moved and because they are a vacation and needed someone to house sit and care for their pets. So we stayed there 3 nights and 4 days. After we returned home, Terry is gone, and life seems to go back to the \\ \"normal \\\" again. Sue and I feel the peace that is so great to have him go. then one day, about a week later, my mother says that he should go to the truck stop because Terry wanted to talk to him about something. So he left and went for a few hours. When he returned, he said that Terry had assured him that he really did what he had done \\ \"because he love me, \\ \"and he said that it was a small price to pay because he offered to help pay the bills more than we used to have. So, he let her move back into our house with us. For the first week or two, he was very polite, the chair for me when we would sit at the table, and insisted on driving me to school so that he could kiss me goodbye every day for \\ \"let people know that I was his. \\\" At some point this, I tried to convince myself that nothing, maybe she really loved me, and that I should be proud and flattered that someone aged 28 wants me, a young girl of 14 years.
Well a few weeks went by and it was back to the way they were. My mom would go to work all night, and Terry will once again come back to my room at night, with condoms in hand, and his fingers would roam once again, began to wander up and down, up and down. The words he spoke made me sick. And every night, it is the same, I sickening would cry myself to sleep because I can no longer deal with this at my age, and I'm supposed to be having fun at school, looking forward to my high school years, dances, proms, sporting events , etc. But otherwise, I would not see a future at all. One day, I had enough, and could no longer take! I know she wanted and needed money, but I can not pretend that I was fine again. I do not. I want to die. Yes, really dead! If it were not for the Lord put in my path a certain girl in school, I quickly became best friends with, and a Master of Science, which I will never forget and always be grateful for, I might have ended up there. But, God obviously had other plans for me. Just when I thought that he had left me alone, he gave me with a friend, and a man who not only was my teacher, but one that really cared about me, who knew that I was going through something terrible at home, who gave me affection, extra time when I could not concentrate on my job, and someone who can make me laugh. I needed that. It brings back hope to me that everyone not only wanted me for sex. That men older is not all perverts, and that God has put him in my life, as my teacher, just at the right moment.
Today, by the grace of God, forgiveness, and compassion, I have forgiven my blood of the lamb, the Lord Jesus himself. Those who died on the cross that many years ago so that I may have eternal life. The man who pulled me out of the darkness and back to light. The person who took all my pain and did not believe in men. I thank God that even though I had to suffer through terrible moments that I have come to learn that it was not my fault that the people had electricity and died. That none of the things that these four men did to me as a child, that's my fault.
To this day, my mother still says, \\ \"IF those things that actually happened to Kelly, then I guess I have to protect him anymore. \\\" IF things happen? IF?!?! There is no question that they happened to me! sister once told her that he knew to be true because most of the times he was in the same bed with me, because we almost always shared a bedroom while growing up. I no longer hope that my mother will never be responsible for what I went through. I know that now. I know that I have to forgive him so that Christ can forgive me for my sins. But it really, and only with the grace of God, that I am still here today. It is my prayer that maybe, just maybe, this testimony will help others who have gone through something similar, or worse, that there IS hope in Jesus Christ. You are not alone. This is not your fault. Give it to Him, such as His shoulder is strong enough to take it from you and let you now walk freely in His love.
* Names have been changed to protect the other people involved.
